Queen Vashti refused her husband’s summons, apparently without explanation. But in his heart, I think maybe he actually knew the reason why!

He was the King! NO ONE refuses a King when he summons you. But Vashti did. I’ve been wondering why. It is evident that the King loved his wife. There is a lot of speculation as to WHY she refused him.

Unkind request from the King

Her husband WAS in the midst of a multi-day drunken bash, showing off his possessions and wealth. So, there is that which could be a reason why. Maybe he just wanted to show her off as another of his trophies and she knew that a Queen should not be ogled over. That is one of the many speculations.

It must not have felt very loving to her. And we know that love is the basic need that God built into the woman. That’s why he tells the man to love his wife.

It almost sounds to me like it could have been the first time something like this had happened. No precedent. Xeres mostly liked to “party”. He left much of the running of the kingdom to “committee meetings” where he asked others to help him decide what to do. So, maybe his “committee” suggested to him that the Queen appear before them. Or maybe he delegated the party plans to someone else…like when he turned his signet ring (authority) over to the evil Haman (see last week’s blog.)

This pagan king must have been a difficult man to love. She must have normally been honoring to him. Respecting his position. But this time she was not.

Disrespect from the Queen

When we read the entire story, it does seem like King Xeres really loved Queen Vashti. He loved her, but her negative response—her refusal to appear at his drunken bash—made him feel disrespected. And we know that respect is the basic need that God built into the man. That’s why He tells women to respect their husband.

He apparently had a history of making rash decisions. And likely this sudden request to appear was another one of his ill-thought-out spur-of-the-moment things he frequently did. How do you respect a guy like that?

At any rate, we do know that he loved her because her insubordination probably should have caused him to put her to death, but he did not. However, his “counselors” convinced him to get rid of her as the Queen. This is tragic.

Study Bible notes

My study Bible got me thinking. …she was probably “not herself”. What I want to say is something that women will understand.

The Jeremiah Study Bible Esther 1:12 footnote says: “Queen Vashti was deposed at about the same time that she gave birth to a son, Artaxerxes (484 or 483 BC).”

’Nuff said

You may have noticed that a woman is sometimes “not herself” while recovering from the birth experience. Perhaps a bit of post-partum depression. Maybe her body was in an after-birth cleansing sort of mode. The discomfort from that would cause her to not want to be in “public” with drunken men. Probably her hormones were raging back and forth. Weariness causes weepiness and short tempers. A lack of desire to be cooperative or kind or accommodating. All those things and more follow childbirth for many.

A need for one-on-one communication

Maybe that is all that it was. Maybe King Xeres knew it was a symptom of just giving birth. Maybe that is why he did not have her killed. If only they had sat down together…soberly discussing his request and why she refused. How sad they did not have a relationship with the Lord God, so they could seek His counsel and wisdom. The entire story could have turned out differently. Do you ever forget to bring God into things like this?

How sad he listened to his “counselors” instead. Because he loved his wife. But he let her go. He removed her from his presence. He lost her companionship and encouragement at a time he needed it most. His lack of maturity and his refusal to rule his kingdom soberly caused him loneliness and great sorrow for about 4 years until his counselors suggested a “beauty pageant” to find a replacement queen.

And you know the rest of that story from reading the short but powerful book of Esther. Queen Esther filled that void. There are a ton of relationship object lessons in that book!

What can we learn from this story of Queen Vashti and King Xeres? Do you see yourself in any part of this tragic story?

Until next time,