Is It OK For Kids To Question Their Faith?
Do you panic when your kids begin to question what you have so diligently taught them? Are you fearful they will fall away from God because they have questions?
Being a young mom without a mom was difficult indeed for me, but one thing I did right was to seek out mentors in the faith.
Look For Biblical Mentors
I began by reading the Scriptures and observing parent/child relationships as I read. What worked? Why? What didn’t work? Why?
It’s never too late to begin that process. If you haven’t done that yet, you will be amazed what a blessing of confidence this will give you as a parent.
Reading Scriptures helped me to see things from God’s perspective. That’s always a plus!
Look For Living Mentors
So, that “project” led me to look for LIVING mentors that would feed me Biblically. Those that would help me to see things through different eyes than what the world was feeding me.
I remember an older pastor teaching about how his child had been questioning all the foundations of the faith that the pastor had so carefully built into his child.
Amazingly, rather than feeling like a failure, the pastor was mature enough in age to have observed and taken note of human behavior at its best and at its worst.
Did he panic? NO! Rather, he encouraged that very questioning. He made himself a “safe place” for his child to talk things over. To question without being condemned or ridiculed.
The Right Place At The Right Time
I learned from that story. God placed me at the right place at the right time to be able to HEAR that message. (Maybe, just maybe…that is why you are reading this blog post right now. Maybe God had me write this NOW just for YOU!) That older dad’s message stuck with me until my children were of the age of questioning. That time when they move PAST thinking Mom and Dad know EVERYTHING. And BEFORE the stage that Mom and Dad know nothing.
Creating A Safe Place For Questions
If they don’t have that safe place in that IN BETWEEN stage, then they will find their answers somewhere else. You might have to admit you don’t know the answer to their question YET. But that too would be a good time to study the Scriptures TOGETHER to find answers. The questions our children have will DRIVE us to the Scriptures to find the answers for ourselves. It is all a big win/win situation.
Encouraging Questions About the Faith Is A Good Idea
That is One Thing I Did Right. By the grace of God, I actually was able to embrace those
times of questioning. I know it was God that blessed me with that attitude, but I also know that I had CHOSEN to seek out strong Christian mentors so many years before the important time of questioning arrived in the life of my children. I already knew it was a healthy thing. They were learning to discover for themselves and to make their faith REAL HEART knowledge rather than just HEAD knowledge. Questioning and searching the Scriptures for the answers prepares us to meet life’s challenges as an adult.
Here’s A Sample Reply
When my kids came to me with questions, I’d say something like this: “Your Dad and I believe …” “And some people believe…” (which was often the opposite of what we believed). “You are going to have to go to the Scripture for yourself and investigate what GOD says. Then come back and we will talk some more.”
I was blessed that they did exactly that.
What About You?
What is your response when your kids question what they have been taught? Please visit the comments section of this blog and share. That will bless us all!
Another great article from the MomCourager. Thank you! My daughters are now in their 20s so I read your posts and speak from a slightly different perspective. Bottom line is — I love my children’s questions and welcome them with open arms. One of my daughters (Brett) asks particularly insightful ones about the Old Testament which, I must admit, can be challenging to address. I never feel bad saying I don’t know, however. Knowing that they can ask me anything has helped them AND me mature in our faith. Bring it! 🙂
You are such an encourager, Jory! I LOVE that you do indeed add a different perspective to the conversation because your children are grown. It makes it a richer exchange! YAY that you don’t feel bad when you sometimes must say you don’t know the answer (YET). It also gives our kids permission to NOT KNOW sometimes, too. And to do research to find the answers. Mothering is a stretching experience on all levels, and at all stages indeed! Thanks for sharing how you rise up to the challenge!