Beyond Disappointment & Betrayal

The story of Leah draws me in.
She was the older sister. Rachel was the younger sister. Jacob was interested in Rachel and got tricked into marrying Leah instead. Disappointment is not fun. Leah probably was always in her sister’s shadow…as the undesirable one. The older sister who was not yet married. Would anyone ever choose her?

The love of his life.
Jacob had agreed to work for 7 years for Rachel. The 7 years only seemed like a day to him because he loved her so much. It was worth it to him.

Jacob’s disappointment.
We focus on Jacob’s disappointment after working for her father for 7 years to earn her hand in marriage. It is dark in the desert at night and Jacob did not realize the “switcheroo” until morning light.
We can only imagine his shock and probably not so pleasant reaction that he had spent the night with NOT-Rachel.

Leah’s beyond disappointment.
I don’t think I have heard any messages on Leah’s disappointment. Disappointment is not fun. Her forced marriage to a man that loved her sister. Leah’s father put Leah in a very uncomfortable position. Like all women, she must have dreamed someday about being married to a man that wanted her like Jacob wanted and loved Rachel. But Leah got the left-overs.

Leah got the left-overs.
Jacob worked another 7 years so he could marry Rachel. Marrying her had been his dearest desire and focus for 14 years. Rachel and Leah then got into a war of sorts…each trying to have the most children in order to make Jacob happy so she would be his favorite and stay with her. In the end, Rachel died in childbirth. Tragic. So, Leah is left behind. Jacob still does not give her his heart.

Leah made the best of it.
What hopes and dreams of hers began to die that day she was forced to marry a man who did not love or want her. I don’t think that there is any record of Leah complaining. There is a record of a word describing her which is not very kind. It has to do with her appearance and it is not what anyone would want to be known by.

In the end of the story
It was Leah whom Jacob honored and buried in the family grave plot with Abraham & Sarah, and Isaac and Rebekah. I don’t know if Jacob intended to “honor” Leah, but it is evident that God intended to.

The lineage of UNloved Leah
It is through the lineage of Leah that God blessed the world with our Savior. Through Judah, Leah’s 4th son! God knows how to create deep down beauty. And that is what He did with Leah’s life!

UNwanted
I am drawn to this story because I was the left-overs too. UNwanted by my husband. He and his mother often told me of a woman that my husband had loved deeply. In Hawaii where he had been stationed.

I knew then that I had gotten the left-overs
Like Leah with Jacob, I tried hard to make him love me. To please him. But he had an unexplainable anger. He still deeply loved his first love. But her father forbid the marriage. He had worked so hard to earn enough money to win her father’s approval so they could marry, but it was not to be.

His boss required he be married
My husband frequently told me that he married me because his boss told him he had to marry someone—anyone–if he wanted to continue to work for the company. That thought still STINGS me when it pops into my head! “Disappointment saturates our world.” (Tim Gustafson)

He traveled a lot
He had a large territory so was gone many weeks throughout the year. Home Friday nights and gone again Sunday. And after being barren for 12 years, God opened my womb. I was delighted. So was he. And I just knew all would be well now…and maybe now he would love me.

Married 21 years
After 21 years of marriage, my husband confessed to me that he had been unfaithful from the first month we were married. So now I knew that – like Leah — not only was I UNwanted, I was also UNloved. And had never been loved by the father of my children. Leah and I both got the left-overs.

Difficult to know, and yet…
It was difficult, and yet, to me, it finally made so many things make sense. And, it was almost a relief because I now understood WHY I so often FELT Unloved. I had thought it was my imagination. Or my standards were too high. Or I wondered what I could do to be a “better” wife. But his confession of his unfaithfulness that fateful day 21 years into our marriage, brought me to live beyond disappointment. I learned to be content in whatever circumstance I was in. And out of necessity I began the process to learn to put my hope in the Lord and not in any person.

I can relate to Leah
My husband loved the children, but he still never truly loved me. God sustained me through it all. And HE has loved me through it all. Jesus is the only Friend who never disappoints. It is a continual learning and tweaking process, but God is faithful and He meets my every need every time I turn to Him. That is the key. Choosing to turn to Him. It is a learned choice.

“Jesus brings justice, restores hope, and gives us an inheritance beyond our wildest dreams” – Tim Gustafson

Helping Women Build a Better Life
So now I have a mission to help women who want a better life after life-altering news to find that new normal. That place of contentment and joy. We want to make sense of what happened. But often there is NO sense in it all. We must learn how to leave it in the hands of our loving Father and know that somehow He is bringing something BETTER out of the ashes. Beauty from ashes. He promises. I know in my life, that is true. I LOVE my life now. All is well. God is still in the people-mending business.

I can help you with that because I have experienced that devastation and yet, I am stronger and happier in the Lord than I ever have been in my life. Click the red button to contact me.

Until next time…

God bless you bunches!Button-Contact-Pam
Awaiting His shout,
pam_signature-993300

The MomCourager™


Comments

Beyond Disappointment & Betrayal — 2 Comments

  1. Shelby said:

    Pam, I have visited and revisited this page and the “When Good Men Go Bad” page. I am desperately seeking insights and wisdom as to what my next steps in my marriage should be. I’m pretty sure God is drawing me to stay with my husband but that might just be my fear. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that your vulnerability and your strength in sharing your own stories has helped me to feel less alone and to understand that, whether we divorce or not, the Lord Jesus can be my one and all if I let Him be.

    • Pam Taylor, The MomCourager said:

      How lovely of you to take the time to let me know that the blogs ministered to you during a time of challenge in your life.
      I’m praying for wisdom for you. God bless you bunches!

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