The other parts of my review of Marge Jones’s The Psychology of Missionary Adjustment, can be reached by the following links:
- Part One: Book Review: Psychology of Missionary Adjustment
- Part Two: The Missionary Pedestal
- Part Three: Out of the Womb
- Part Four: Language and Bonding Grinds
- Part Five: Missionaries and Bursted Bubbles
- Part Six: Missionary Guilt Is Real
Missions were birthed out of conflicts.
Acts 8:1, 4 makes it clear that the persecution against the church broke out in Jerusalem, and all but the apostles scattered, preaching the Word wherever they went. Rather than stopping the message, it was actually the birthing of missionary evangelism.
Think of Paul. His first real Christian friend was Barnabas and then later he had a conflict with Barnabas about John Mark. They split up and the message of the Gospel spread even further.
So, as we see from Scripture, circumstances and relationships have ups and downs, and things are not always what they seem. Gratefully, we know that God always has a plan. May we learn to seek HIS solutions and then wholeheartedly cooperate with joy!
Conflicts then and conflicts now
In her book Psychology of Missionary Adjustment, Marge Jones shares more of her wisdom birthed out of experience. “Disagreements with the home board, difficulty with fellow missionaries, and problems with the national church, are part of the daily pressure encountered on the mission field. How these conflicts are faced and resolved will determine the effectiveness and duration of an individual’s career overseas.”
Stress and the Importance of a Mentor Coach
This book offers much valuable discussion about the adjustments needed to be made in working together with the home missionary board before, during, and after assignment. Please get a copy of the book. You will be glad you did. Each page is a pure gem!
In coaching my missionary clients, I have found that when they fully understand personality and spiritual gifts differences, they are well on their way to figuring out satisfactory solutions for the conflicts they daily face. With the ongoing coaching (normally an hour per week, three times per month), much can be solved before it gets out of hand; simply by understanding that differences are by God’s design and everyone’s personality strengths and spiritual gifts are to be discovered, encouraged, and embraced.
“…boards need to recognize that the vast majority of those chosen are capable of having victorious ministry and just need adequate training and support.”
Missionaries also need to realize the pressure on their administrators
Important: Mentor coaching for administrators is needed as well. “Pastor care for administrators is just as important as pastoral care for field missionaries…Administrators who are under pressure because of heavy workloads may find it difficult to treat field problems with patience and understanding.”
Bill is an action person. Makes quick decisions and carries them out immediately. Forms quick opinions that are hard to change. Seldom seeks counsel. He is a strict disciplinarian. A Lion personality. His wife is quiet, thoughtful, tries to soften the affects of her husband’s actions and decisions. She is talented and capable. Homeschools. Full time household help. Finances are no problem. A Golden Retriever personality.
Dave is quiet, introverted, thoroughly examines all sides of a problem before making a decision. Has trouble starting things. Often contacts the home office for counsel. Hates confrontations. Gets headaches whenever there is a conflict. Money is a bit of a problem so they can only afford part time household help, so Dave helps out at home with the cooking, which he enjoys, and also with some of the other household duties. A Beaver personality. His wife is probably an Otter personality. She loves people. She can jump from one thing to another and is a very capable and able administrator, active in the Bible training program, and handles all necessary financial reports. She loves change.
Much is discussed in the book about why these two couples had conflict on the field. The book offers very valuable information as part of the discussion why they had problems. (Of course, the LFYS assessments were not available for these couples when they were experiencing difficulties. Or when this book was written.)
The Leading From Your Strengths (LFYS) assessment and training is based on the Bible and on Biblical principles. LFYS is life-changing because it is eye-opening to the GOD-GIVEN, GOD-CHOSEN personalities of everyone. Using this great resource, coupled with ongoing life coaching, missionary couples and teams learn to work together and appreciate the differences rather than fighting each other, or trying to change each other. An invaluable tool!
“Saving a missionary marriage or resolving a family conflict is well worth the effort…”
Example of a specific need vs. skills, training, gifting, strengths
Far too often, a need is met by someone not qualified to fill that need. A cascade of problems follow that choice.
An example in the book: “In one instance, the bishop of the national church insisted that the missionary run the finances of the diocese even though he came to teach in the seminary. The missionary did not return to the situation after furlough.” What a shame. It didn’t have to end that way. We simply MUST recognize strengths of individuals and stop trying to use them where they are not gifted with what they need to succeed.
If only…
The examples of missionaries shared in this blog post did not know how to work through their differences. Their unresolved conflicts were their downfall. They did not know how to work through and around the conflicts and differences. They did not know how to appreciate and work within each of their strengths. If only they had had a mentor coach trained to help them discover and embrace the way God created them to be.
You and the missionaries you love can discover a new and rewarding way to stay and continue serving on the Mission field until GOD decides that work there is done. I offer real help for real missionaries and for those who love them! Contact me for more information…
For Part Eight "Adjustment: Missionaries’ Reverse Culture Shock" click here.
God bless you bunches!
Thank you for all you do!
Awaiting His shout,
The MomCourager™
