What Happens When Good Men Go Bad?

war-room-2 White collar crime. My life fell apart.
Remember in the War Room movie? A compromise here. A compromise there. Before he knew it, Tony was in over his head. Do you know anyone like that? Well, let me tell you how MY life fell apart!

Justification rules.
In the movie War Room, Tony was a church-going Christian. He was a salesman. He was a REALLY GOOD salesman for a drug company. He brought them lots of business. He got great bonuses. He worked alone. No accountability. He traveled. No accountability. He was a charismatic personality. People liked Tony. He took advantage of their trust by stealing from his company. He felt justified…he was creating his own PENSION RETIREMENT PLAN.

His conscience dogged at his heels.
Tony was an angry man and his anger was focused mainly on his wife. Believe it or not…that actually is a good sign…that he was angry. It shows that his conscience and the Holy Spirit are messing with him, making him feel uncomfortable. (What he DOES with his anger is a whole different thing.)
 
A young wife and a GREAT salesman.
When I was a young wife, married to a GREAT salesman, a few years into the marriage, we both were born again. And God began to call things to our attention that needed to be changed. To be brought into alignment with God’s will. Calling attention to how a follower of Jesus Christ should live.

After my husband surrendered his life to the Lord, he began to get convicted about his own white collar crime…just like Tony in the movie War Room.

Similarities.
When my husband went to confess to his bosses, I too, waited for him at home (just like Elisabeth). That was one of the hardest days of my life. Wondering what the outcome of the meeting would be. We both were pretty certain that he would have to go to jail. He did NOT.

Different story.
He returned home after only a slap on the wrists from his bosses. They did not require he pay any restitution, like Tony in the movie did.

You see, this is where our story is different than Tony and Elisabeth’s story. In our story, the bosses were the ones that had actually shared the Bible and Christian books and talked about Jesus and were part of what led us to a relationship with Jesus. But they were ALSO the ones that taught my husband how to do these “compromises here” and “compromises there”. They justified it to themselves.

And when he confessed, they merely told him not to do it anymore. No consequences. No restitution. No jail time. No loss of job.

My husband was never the same after that.
You see, we ARE our brother’s keeper. These very men were part of our redemption AND part of our destruction. The confusion was too much for my husband. He didn’t know what to do with his “convictions”. He believed they were from God. And, of course, they were! But these “good men” had “gone bad” and had taught him that it’s OK as a Christian to compromise and cut corners. They were also “compromising” and he knew they would continue to look the other way if he continued in his “compromises”.

What if…
Would our story have ended differently if the bosses had ‘fessed up and admitted that they too, needed to clean up their act? My husband was an angry man again. And that is sad. He was a good man. A man with a tender heart. A kind heart. He was fun and witty. But…he was never the same after that…

We later had children and he was a good father, but he was “damaged” by the “good men gone bad”.  (If only I knew then what I know now…SIGH!) (That is why I am making myself vulnerable here. So YOU can know. So it doesn’t happen to you or those your love. Watch for the signs…it matters!)

What we do matters.
How we live our lives matters. People are watching. We can make the difference for good or for evil in their lives. Just because something is “normal” and “everybody does it”, does not make it OK. And small compromises always lead to bigger and bigger ones!

So, now what?
This was difficult to write. It is still very painful to me. Tears have been flowing! But I believe God wanted me to write it. And my time at the lake today, confirmed it. God let me know that my job was just to obey and write this. He made it clear that the results are in His hands.

Will you pray with me?
Do you know anyone that needs to “come clean” before God? God hates lukewarm. And a disobedient compromising Christian is like stench to Him. My husband realized that. He stopped the compromises, but his bosses’ reactions stunted his growth as a Christian. It hurt him deeply. And kept him an angry man! Our marriage fell apart and eventually died!

What we do matters! There are always consequences!

Is there anything in your life that needs tweaking or confessing and changing? If you are in the middle of a crisis, I can help!

God bless you bunches!

Until next time,
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Comments

What Happens When Good Men Go Bad? — 2 Comments

  1. Pam,
    Thank you for sharing this painful and raw message. I know this had to be very hard for you to share. God can use our pain to His glory. We all need to come clean about something. Thank you for courage. God Bless

    • Pam Taylor, The MomCourager said:

      @Leigh Clark, thanks for the encouragement. (“Coming clean” is freeing!) God bless you bunches!!! Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment!

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