A common thread
In my many conversations with moms, there is a common thread…Moms are worn out and overwhelmed. And their kids are not obeying them. So what is that about?
One thing a child must learn
We know that God has given children ONE thing they must learn above all others. That ONE thing is to honor/respect/obey their parents. (Different translations use different words to describe what God desires.)
There are plenty of books out there to give you instructions for specific struggles, but it boils down to this: God desires that children learn to respect and honor and obey their Mom AND Dad. Even though their parents are not perfect and most of us know we don’t DESERVE it.
It’s the parents’ job to teach that Godly principle
The parents have been called by God to join forces with Him in order to train them up in the way they should go, so when they are old they will not depart from it.
No argument. No negotiating. No three-strikes-you’re-out kinda training. Kids must learn to obey their parents THE FIRST TIME.
This will feel like unfulfilling HARD WORK in the beginning.
This training of your children is done while focused on the goal: to prepare them to be wise adults. To be good citizens. To obey the law and to obey what God says in His Word, the Bible. They get to practice this in the home, where the consequences are not as stiff as they will be if they get out on their own and disobey the law.
Consequences are real for undisciplined lives
1. Say a child decides they want a cookie that is on brother’s plate. So, he just takes it without asking or waiting to hear that it is ok. Yes, this is a small offense! But…It becomes a “teachable moment” in the home.
Say they are not taught the “lesson of the cookie” that is not theirs.
Say an 18 year old in college decides that they want a laptop computer from the local computer store. So, he decides to take it. We will all agree that is theft. The “teachable moment” in that case, might even mean jail time.
2. Say children don’t learn the “lesson of the cookie.” Since the word tells us that sin is never satisfied and always wants MORE, then they go into their sister’s room and take and read her diary. And then they tell others what is in it. That is a BIG “teachable moment” of violating another’s privacy. The consequences in the home are relatively minor.
Say they leave the home at 18 w/o learning that lesson at home. Then, say they learn a lot about computers and hack a friend’s private computer and share private information with other college friends. The “teachable moment” will likely be pretty harsh. Your child might be kicked out of college or depending on the circumstances, the discipline could be devastating and follow them their entire life.
God chose which parents and kids to put together
We, as parents have been given our children because God knew that we had what it takes to teach them what they need to know to be God-fearing & responsible law-abiding citizens. This is a Divine appointment.
We must diligently teach.
Some kids will still go astray. And we must not carry around the guilt of that. God is the perfect example even for this point I am trying to make right now. HE is the PERFECT parent; and yet, look how some of HIS kids turned out! 😉 You and I (of course) are NOT perfect parents. But we have a perfect God to help us to learn how to bring out the best in our kids.
But, all that said, parents are still given the responsibility to Teach and Instruct our children in the way they SHOULD go, so that WHEN THEY ARE OLD, they will NOT DEPART from it! Don’t let your kids down by being distracted by lesser things. This is THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB you have as moms and dads.
God has deemed that the parents are in charge. NOT the kids.
It is a good goal to want your kids to OBEY the rules. BUT, it is a bad goal to expect the kids to LIKE the rules. That would be unrealistic.
Please know: You are not a bad mom when you make a decision that your child doesn’t like.
Even if your child tries the “guilt trip” to try to sway you…to try to manipulate you, remember that you are the parent. The adult. The grown up. And sometimes, you just have to live with their discontent.
**(Disclaimer: We are not talking about the parent that wants the child to do something that is definitely sinful.)
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