Some parents don’t give much thought to child training, but rather just exist from day-to-day going from one crisis to the next. The tyranny of the urgent rules the household. But…what if it were possible to do something really radical, with palpable results?

What if you lived out your parenting by “Choosing your battles” as the saying goes. Some homes are like a constant battle ground, with both “sides” wanting to WIN! So, exactly which battles are actually worth fighting?

Those that are negatively affecting the God-given goal to “raise up the child in the way he should go”. Those that are preventing your plan to develop children with good character and integrity. Children that love God and desire to walk in His way rather than in their own natural selfish way. Children that obey you on the first request.

Yes, there is a time for discipline for bad behavior.

My father was very careful in “choosing” his “battles”. He was a kind and even-tempered man. Half of my young life, I was raised by my single parent father. I remember a time when I was a teenager. We had company for dinner. I was acting like a smart aleck and disrespectful to my father in front of our guests. He didn’t say a word. He stayed seated and swifter than I knew he could act, he took my arm and pulled me across his lap in front of our company, and gave me a swat on the behind. Not at all hard. But I never talked to him that way again.

He calmly and carefully and deliberately made his point. He was the parent and his position of parent deserved respect. I had chosen to disrespect him in front of company and he returned the favor. It was his way of “rewarding” my bad behavior. (You may or may not believe in spanking, but I can tell you, it was the only “spanking” (actually just a swat with his hand) I can remember from my Dad and it made quite an impact on my behavior. I was not physically OR emotionally harmed because of it. I truly knew it was done out of love. He had no visible anger. He just made it clear that he was the parent and I was NOT!)

That said, now that we have the discipline side of the child raising out of the way, what would it look like if we also reward the good behavior of obedience? What if we comment favorably when we observe good character qualities and integrity? What if we remember that our goal is not to be a good friend of our children but rather to be a role model, parenting with the goals in mind.

Kids need a parent. YOU are the parent. Not their friend. Not their buddy. Rather, you are the grown up. They are depending on you to train them in Godly character. My Dad knew that and took his “job” seriously.

So, what if you told them ahead of time what is expected of them. So they don’t have to read your mind. Wouldn’t that help the atmosphere in the home? Would that cut down on the nagging? Would they have the same feeling of being loved that I had when my father illustrated to me that he expected respect from me?

What if you do what you say? The first time you say it. So they don’t have to wonder whether it is the first or the 5th warning that brings your wrath! That’s a crucial part of the puzzle.

Child-raising is hard work. We can’t afford to get lazy. The consequences are eternal. God will give us the strength and wisdom if we but ask Him. He is only a prayer away.

How were you raised as a child? What have you learned that we could all benefit from?
Please share it in the comments section.