All was well and my life was going along great.
I felt content. After all, I am doing what I was created to do. Then, out of nowhere…Splat! Reality hits! I feel like giving up! The feeling comes out of nowhere and engulfs me in sadness!
I know I am not alone in this strange malady.
The Christian life is NOT a walk in the park. It is NOT a piece of cake. It is hard. it is grueling. It is challenging. It is a race to the finish line. satan seeks to destroy and discourage and to kill our joy! Always!
Today was one of those days.
I hadn’t realized it at the time, but God had prepared me this morning. Reminding me from Deut.33:25 that our strength will be equal to our days. I thought the reason God brought it from the archives of my mind…from when my kids were little…was so I could share it with a young mom who was feeling overwhelmed lately. I texted the verse to her, having no idea that my own day would become a challenge and that I would have an epic meltdown in just a few short hours.
Splat! Reality hit!
I failed horribly! I know better. I got sucked into an old habit pattern. I wanted to BE understood. I was a miserable representative of a Christ-follower.
I don’t know about you, but…
Seeking to be understood never works for me. Maybe I am just too complex, but the people I love the most…family…seldom “get me”. And that hurts. And I turn inward. I was actually so discouraged, I was just wanting to give up. What’s the use? I am not making a difference. I can’t do or say “the right things”. I felt pretty much lower than a snake’s belly, as my Dad used to say.
That’s what happens when I try to fix things in the flesh
I FEEL empty and sad. I had not stopped to pray. I had not asked God for wisdom.
When I am hurt, it takes a few minutes to see things from God’s perspective. That’s when it is good to have…
A truth speaking friend who believes in me…reminding me…WHOSE I am
Not trying to fix me, but gently bringing me back to the Word of God. The promises of God! We all need someone like that in our life! When we stumble and can’t see the light because we FEEL so hurt. We can’t be real until we feel safe. We can’t heal deeply until we feel safe. I am reminded…
1. Jesus was hurt by those that He loved most. He understands.
2. If I don’t have the strength (See Deut. 33:25) then I must be messing around in areas that are not my responsibility to resolve
3. I must choose to not grow weary in well-doing for in due season, I will reap if I don’t give up. (Gal. 6:9) (And yes, it is a choice.)
From one work in process to another.
God bless you bunches. I’m praying for you. Will you pray for me too?